


Wrong Number

by bgn846



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F3S, Gen, Misunderstandings, Noct should know these things but he doesn't, Wrong number, prompto to the rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 11:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17446100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgn846/pseuds/bgn846
Summary: Noct gets a phone call from the Insomnian Internal Revenue Service.  Can he pay his back taxes without getting arrested first?





	Wrong Number

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ragewerthers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragewerthers/gifts).



> Just a random dribble about how I think Noct would handle a call from the IRS. Too bad he doesn't know they don't call, they send letters. :) Thanks to Ragewerthers for making some awesome suggestions for this wacky story. :)

Hearing a strange noise Noct sat up straighter on the sofa and paused the video game he was playing.  Then he heard it again, a shrill ringing sound coming from the kitchen.  Debating about whether to ignore it or not he finally put down the game controller and got up to investigate.

At first thinking that Ignis had left a timer going Noct was surprised to discover the horrid ringing was coming from a phone secured to the wall. 

A real phone.

One with a curly cord coming out of it and everything, the prince had assumed this piece of molded plastic was merely part of the decoration.  It had never been used to his knowledge, no one had the number.  It was for emergencies or something of that nature.

He would later regret his decision but on a whim he picked up the handle and said ‘hello’.

A brisk male voice answered him back. “Sir, this is the Insomnian Internal Revenue Service calling to alert you that there is a warrant out for your arrest due to unpaid taxes.  If you wish to avoid immediate jail time we will need you to provide payment right now.  The authorities have already been alerted and are on their way.” 

Noct was at a loss for words.  What the hell was happening?  “How did you get this number?” He quickly asked trying to buy time.

“Sir your arrest warrant had all of the contact details.  Are you able to find a form of payment right now?”

“You don’t have an arrest warrant.” Noct chided quickly.

“Sir this is serious, if you are unable to provide payment right now over the phone I won’t be able to cancel the warrant.” 

There had to be a mistake.  Did he even pay taxes, he was the government!   Surely Ignis would have gotten wind of something this egregious way before he got a phone call about it.   

“Sir are you still there?” The man questioned.

“Uh – hold on.” Noct stammered.  He needed to distract the man so he could call Ignis on his cell phone. 

“The best way to settle the balance is to give us your bank account routing number.” 

“Let me grab my wallet can you hold on?” he tried again hoping the guy would give him a minute. 

“Certainly, we suggest you hurry sir, the authorities have been called.” 

“Yeah you mentioned that already.”  Noct retorted as he started frantically searching for his phone.  Shit. Where the hell was it?  Gods it was still on the sofa!  Without thinking he ran back into the living room and yelled when the kitchen phone violently yanked out of his hand.  Stupid cord, who ever thought that was a good design decision should be shot!

Stricken with indecision Noct straddled the entrance to the kitchen trying to figure out if he should pick up the phone or grab his cell first.  Hearing a faint voice on the telephone receiver, as it rocked on the tile floor of the kitchen, kicked his brain into gear and he ran into the living room for his cellphone. 

Scrambling back a moment later he scooped the phone up off the floor and hoped the guy would still be there. “Hello, you there? Sorry I dropped the phone.”

“Of course sir, do you have the bank routing information?”  He questioned.

Ok this was complicated what hell was that? He asked the guy to hold on again and he quickly tried calling Ignis on his cell.  It rang five times and went to voice mail.  Damn it!  He immediately called again but the same thing happened.  

Shooting off a text instead, requesting Ignis call him right away he tried Gladio next.  He would know if they were coming to arrest him.  He was part of the crownsguard! 

Gladio’s cell phone didn’t even ring, it went straight to voicemail.  What the hell what were his advisor and shield doing?  He needed them! 

“Sir?” The man on the phone asked again with a hint of irritation.

“Yeah I’m here.  What?”

“The routing number sir did you find it?”

“Can you tell me where it is?”

“It will be on the bottom left of a check, sir.” 

A check – did Noct even have access to a check.  Did he pay bills?  Maybe that was way the IIRS was after him.  “Ahhh what does a check look like?”

The man on the other end of the line sighed heavily, and Noct was sure if he was there in person it would have included an eye roll.  “It would be a slip of paper from your checkbook sir.”

“Ok. Let me check.” Noct went to try Ignis again and noticed he had a text from the advisor.  It was useless.  ‘ _I’m working late like we discussed, I have no indication of an emergency at your apartment.  Please confirm you are alright._ ’  

Sighing he wrote back. _‘I’m safe for now but the IIRS is after me the cops are coming right now!_ ’  Then he tried calling Gladio again.  Nothing.   

He got a text back almost immediately.  ‘ _As I have stated there are no alerts associated with your apartment.  Please let me get back to work.’_  

Six! Ignis wasn’t going to help him, Gladio was busy.  He had no choice left but to turn to Prompto.  The man from the phone suddenly distracted him again by asking if he was still there. 

“Huh?”

“Sir did you have any luck finding a check?”

“Um still looking, give me a minute.”

Texting Prompto quickly he told his best friend he was being arrested soon unless he could find a check.  Trying to sound busy he started banging things around in the kitchen so the guy on the phone would think he was looking for this check. 

“Sir if you are unable to find a check we can also take credit card.” The man offered after a minute. 

Oh.  Noct knew he had that!  “What kind of credit card?”

“Any of them sir, go ahead and give me the number.” 

Patting his pockets Noct realized his wallet was in the other room.  Not again! He put the phone down on the counter this time as he ran into the living room.  Coming back he sighed relieved that this would hopefully solve the problem. 

“Uh I have my wallet right here let me see which card to use.”  He responded as he began rifling through the personal item.  Where was his card?  Suddenly a memory came flooding back to him. Ignis telling him the card was expiring and that the need to get him a new one.   So that meant no card either.  He was so screwed. 

Desperation was taking over at this point and his cellphone ringing made him pause.  It was Prompto!  He answered while trying to balance the kitchen phone in-between his neck and ear.    

“Buddy, I need help!” He whispered into his cell. 

“Noct, are you on the phone with someone?”

“Yeah the IIRS, I need help --.”

Prompto cut him off and practically yelled.  “Just hang up the phone Noct it’s a scam!”

“But they said they have an arrest warrant out for me!”

“Noct!  Hang up the godsdamned phone!” His friend shouted again. 

The man from the IIRS spoke up once more. “Sir if you are unable to pay the taxes owed on this account associated with phone number 45-59752 I will have no choice but to request the authorities arrest you on site.” 

Noct almost dropped the phone when the man finished. Right there in front of him taped to the phone and written in Ignis’ perfect script was the number for the kitchen phone.  It didn’t match.  They had called the wrong number!

He slammed the phone down on the receiver so hard it sounded like it cracked. 

“NOCT!” Prompto yelled. “Are you still there? Did you hang up?”

“Huh --  Yeah I’m here.  That was a close call, they had the wrong number.”

“Dude, it’s a scam!  Wrong number or not!  You didn’t give them any information did you?” He asked worriedly.

“No, I couldn’t find any checks and I didn’t have my credit card on me.”  He answered with a sigh. 

“Oh Emm Gee Noct, please promise me you will never give out information like that over the phone.  The IIRS doesn’t call they only send letters.”  

“Ok.  Are you sure it was a scam, they said --.”

Prompto interjected again. “That they were coming to arrest you and the only way to make it stop was to give them money.” 

“Yeah!  How did you know?”

“Because it’s a scam I get those calls all the time. No one ever shows up to arrest me.  Trust me buddy.  Just relax and enjoy your evening.”

“Fine.” The prince huffed. “But it was scary.”

“It’s meant to be, just get some rest and forget about it.” 

The call ended and Noct took a deep breath trying to calm his nerves.  He was never going to answer that phone again let alone touch it. 

 

* * *

 

 

Ignis’ phone rang a few hours after his text messages from Noct.  It was Gladio and since he had just finished with work he picked up.

“Hey I missed a call from Noct, everything okay?  I was relaxing at home with a good book and didn’t realize my phone had died.”

“As far as I know, he called and texted me earlier about the IIRS being after him.  I don’t know what kind of video games he was playing tonight but I think they are doing more harm than good.”

“But you talked to him and he was ok?”

“I texted and he told me he was alright.  He thought he was getting arrested but I knew that was untrue.” Ignis paused for a moment. “Do you think his lack of vegetables is negatively affecting his brain?” 

Gladio laughed. “Nah, he’s just Noct.  Drop me a text after you check on him tonight.  It’ll make me feel better to know he’s really alright.” 

“Certainly, I’m on my way over there right now.”  

 

* * *

 

 

The apartment was dark when Ignis used his key in the front door.  The place was absolutely devoid of any sound.  He was starting to get worried and called out to Noct once he shuffled into the living room.

Suddenly there was movement in the dark space, a lump on the sofa had moved.  “Iggy?”  The voice was muffled but it was Noct.

Flicking on the light switch Ignis could see a flash of midnight black hair sticking out from a pile of blankets on the sofa.  “Noct are you alright?”

“The IIRS weren’t waiting outside were they?”

Sighing and rolling his eyes Ignis answered. “Highness, the IIRS sends letters they do not make house calls.”   

 The prince responded by groaning loudly and retreating further into the blanket cocoon.  “So I’m safe?”

“Noct, of course you are.  I told you I checked when we texted earlier.  I won’t let the IIRS get you.”

“Thanks Specs.” He mumbled.  “Um do you think you could stay the night just in case?”

Ignis knew he would lose this battle if he tried to leave.  Why not have a movie marathon and try to get Noct’s mind off the IIRS.  Maybe he could get him to eat a carrot while he was recovering!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Check me out on tumblr if you want. Just mostly FFXV stuff with some random dribbles. [BGN846 Blog](https://bgn846.tumblr.com/)
> 
> or Twitter [ BGN846 Twitter](https://twitter.com/BGN846?lang=en)


End file.
